The GLC Dictionary and Reference Guide

A-Team van n. a drinking game which involves at least three people standing in a circle passing and drinking a bottle of Lambrini while singing “get on The A-Team van, get on The A-Team van”.

Bag it up / No diggity / Terry Riley (Doing a) vb. to defecate in a plastic bag. Popular with those unable to locate a suitable Shirley Bassey.

Bernie Cliftons n. cigarettes.

Blazin' squad n. two or more people enjoying jazz in a room at the same time.

Block-up (To be) adj. highly sedated with herbal remedies.

Bra n. a friend.

Breaking the Bread vb. A specific style of lovemaking as devised by the Maggot, involving a firm grip of one's partner's buttocks during intercourse.

Brendan n. to pass on a spliff that is mostly cardboard and will burn your lips.

Brian Turner sandwich (As shit as a) n. When something you had grand expectations for ends up being a low-quality, highly expensive rip-off. See also: Motorway service station.

Buckfast van n. like the A-team van only with tonic wine instead of Lambrini.

Bufflin vb. to run from a fight.

Burnt lips and cardboard n. smoking a remedy near to the roach.

Cider enema n. the introduction of cider to the rectum to evacuate the bowels and kill parasitic worms.

CID pumpings / Goonies on VHS n. to become sexually familiar with another. The first term refers to going 'undercover' and delivering 'pumpings'. The second term was used as a code by one Adam Hussain in search of sexual fulfillment. For example, "Did you watch Goonies on VHS last night Adam?", "Yes I did. It was very good".

Chepstow n. 1). a jumper 2). to pot a ball on a pool table by hitting another ball first.

Cliftons n. see Bernie Cliftons.

Clart n. a person who knows about the GLC.

Cock socket n. vagina.

Community workshop n. the coming together of minds to create spiritual music.

Co-ordination enhancer n. term for a jazz cigarette enjoyed whilst involved in sports activities.

Craig Davids n. large set of oversize headphones.

Cunnie weed n. extremely strong herbal remedies.

Dean Gaffney or Dean n. your house.

Denim & leisure n. clothes-based version of a 'half and half'. Normally identified as wearing a trackie top and jeans or trackie bottoms and denim jacket. Takes its name from the Saxon album 'Denim & Leather', released in the 80's.

Dirty protest / Bobby Sands (Doing a) vb. failure to accomplish the task of 'bagging it up'.

Dragon taxis n. taxi service in Newport.

Draw n. herbal remedy.

Driver’s choice n. very weak lager.

Drugs trumpet n. a cone of paper filled with tobacco and herbal remedies.

Double indemnity n. two varieties of draw in one spliff.

Easy doors n. signal of acceptance coupled with a relaxed attitude to the previous statement. For example, "Oh son, Zanzi's closes at 3am", "I've just had five pukkas, easy doors".

Einer titten-fucken n. first lesson in basic GLC German. Generally accepted response seems to involve holding two fingers in the air whilst shouting, "Twenty, twenty".

Family bucket n. means of measuring wines and spirits in large quantities. For example, "Regular size or family bucket bra?", "Fuckin family bucket son, let's rave it up".

Fifties wash n. style of cleaning oneself that developed through lack of adequate shower facilities. Often involves a wet flannel being applied to the face, neck, underarm area and in between the legs.

Get in nice n. another wonderful concept as introduced to us by the Maggot. Involves making oneself comfortable and ensuring everything you need is within arm's reach. Cold, hungry and tired? Bad day at work? Haven't got out of bed yet and you've already had enough? Get in nice.

Glenn Hoddle n. wallet.

Half & half n. Half rice, half chips. Strangely only ever found in the South Wales area.

Intimate rest (Going for a) vb. to masturbate one’s self in private.

Jazz n. see Draw.

Jimi Hendrix (Doing a) vb. 1 projectile vomit, 2 bright colours.

Joey Beltram (Going for a) vb. to utilise toilet facilities.

Killing Fields n. Popular term for Newport town centre on Friday or Saturday night.

Kursk n. might be used in the context, "Fuck this, it's like being on the Kursk. Shit anyway". Common response to finding oneself on a clapped-out form of transport that should have been scrapped years ago.

Leisurewear n. sports related clothing.

Lliswerry tash n. early top lip facial hair growth.

Maximum pressure adj. being high up on herbal remedies.

Motorway service station n. a beautiful potential utopia of blended cultural identity and class spolit by mass commercialism, wanky products and a mentality based solely on ripping people off due to complete lack of alternatives.

Newport sunday lunch n. McDonalds.

Peter Tosh n. an ashtray.

Permaleish (pro. per-ma-lesh) adj. to wear only leisurewear at all times, ie. weddings, barmitzvahs, court appearances, etc. See also: Semileish.

Pleasure rub (Going for a) vb. see Intimate rest.

Posh wank n. intimate rest using a condom.

Pubes in batter n. onion bhaji.

Pukkas n. High energy nutritional rave capsules.

Purple headed yoghurt chucker n. the penis.

Radiator n. something that prevents people from going out. See also: Terry Waite.

Rave it up vb. to have a good time.

Raz adj. something that is good.

Razzle-dazzle n. noisy or showy fuss like wearing too much gold when drunk.

Red n. chicken tikka massala.

Remedy n. see Drugs trumpet.

Remedials n. herbal remedies.

Riza’s buy and sell n. second hand buy and sell shop in Newport.

Roy Castle (A bit) n. description of a smoky room. For example, "Fuckin hell clart, it's a bit Roy Castle in here. Leave the door open".

Safe vb. 1 a greeting, 2 a measure of quality.

Safe as fuck vb. really good.

Semileish (pro. sem-i-lesh) adj. Only wearing leisurewear for special occasions, ie. weddings, barmitzvahs, court appearances, etc. See also: Permaleish.

Seven seater scum bus n. executive taxi that holds seven people, popular in the valleys.

Shit & sellotape n. half-arsed attempt to do something properly.

'Side down (Letting the) vb. not appearing for drinks with DCI Burnside.

Silver shadow n. a brand of Hi-Tec sport shoes.

Shanks and Bigfoot (Doing a) vb. to walk home.

Shirley Bassey n. toilet.

Shirt and tie n. see Dragon taxis.

Specialist n. see Drugs trumpet.

Splew n. friend.

Sports utility n. jacket.

Sweeping step n. dance move invented by 38DD Killa which involves a step forward whist moving the arms in a sweeping motion.

Terry Waite n. someone who doesn't get out very much. See also: Radiator.

Top of the food chain (To be) vb. only eating take-away or restaurant food.

TV cop n. to spend one's spare time eating fast food, wearing sunglasses and sitting in stationary cars watching passers-by. Pretending to radio back to base should always conclude with the statement "ten-four" and crap static noise.

Unsafe vb. not very good, a disappointment.

Vadge/vaj n. see Cock socket.

Valley commando n. youths from South Wales valleys out in local towns looking for female company. Often seen with a toothbrush in the shirt pocket.

Wank spanner n. hand.

Whitey adj. what happens when too many herbal remedies are utilized.

Whitey-inducer n. last remedy to tip you over the edge.

Yates’s n. popular night spot, good to meet girls.

You knows it vb. to understand the GLC.

Zanzibar n. see Yates’s.