Pot Noodle Delight

'Pot Noodle Delight'
Sent in by Graham the Bear

You will need:
1 x Chicken & Mushroom Pot Noodle (complete with soy sauce sachet)
3 x slices of reconstituted ham
1 x dollop of mayonnaise
1 x small dash of mustard
Load of grated cheese

- Get drunk. The complex flavour of the 'Pot Noodle Delight' (or 'PND' for short) will baffle those of a sober disposition. Ensure participants are suitably inebriated beforehand.
- Stumble into the kitchen with the above ingredients (preferably purchased from a local petrol station) and fill the kettle (with water) with an aim to boiling it. Once boiled, add water to the Pot Noodle. NOTE: The water should not exceed the recommended level on the pot. This is of utmost importance to allow other ingredients to be added and to avoid scolding of hands.
- Stir well and replace the foil lid for about a minute.
- During this time, take the reconstituted ham and place the grated cheese in the centre of each piece making little parcels out of them. These are referred to as 'Depth Charges' (or 'DC's for short). Make sure you leave a bit of cheese out for later.
- Plop in the first DC and allow it to sink. Place the second DC in the PND, but this time pour the soy sauce in and stir.
- Now add a dollop of mayonnaise and stir vigorously.
- Spread some mustard (to taste) on the third DC. This is known as a 'Depth Charge Supreme' (or 'DCS' for short). Place the DCS in the PND and add the leftover cheese to the top.
- Replace the foil lid for about 30 seconds and then consume. Your taste buds will have a fucking party.

NB - Leave a pint glass of water next to your bed for the morning - the more inexperienced PND combatant may feel like they've sucked off a camel.