Very Sticky Toffee Pudding

'Very Sticky Toffee Pudding'
Sent in by Gavin Peacock MBE

You will need:
Freshly boiled water

- For those in need of old school desserts, why not try the delicious Very Sticky Toffee Pudding. Even the delightful aroma produced whilst cooking will transport you back to the heady days of school canteens, pink custard and slop bins.
- First off, locate breadcrumbs. These can be found in breadbins or at the bottom of toasters. Ensure toaster is both turned off and unplugged when attempting to dislodge discarded bread matter. Collect in a small dish.
- Add sugar to dish. If you have no sugar, use syrup. If you have no syrup, use honey. If you have no honey, try using Nutrasweet or any popular sugar alternative. If you have none of these, just pop down to your local Starbucks or Maccy Dees and nick as many sachets of sugar as you possibly can.
- When sugar has been added, knead with fingertips for between 2 - 3 minutes, then add boiling water. Be careful! You'll find that you need your fingers for things later on in life.
- Fire up the grill. Place your bready, sugary, watery mixture in a heat-resistant dish such as one made of Pyrex or Titanium. Heat for a little while until the sugar has caramelised on top. Yum yum! Things are looking good.
- Try to fight the temptation to dive in too soon, this stuff is hot! Once sufficiently cooled, add an accompaniment such as ice cream or yoghurt. If you don't have either, try freezing milk as an ice cream alternative.
- Eat, enjoy and remember that taste isn't everything. Sometimes it's all about the process and what you were hoping to accomplish at the time.

NOTE: The picture at the top of this page does not in any way represent the finished product described above. In fact, should you follow the recipe stated, there's a very good possibility it'll look nothing fucking like it at all.